Last year when I arrived back in the UK after living in France for 4 years I knew that one of the ways in which my life was going to shift was creating the space to be ready for long-term partnership.
In today’s Fireside Chat I share all about this journey, the fears and doubts I had about the process of finding a partner, making the right choice and being able to receive the deep love I yearned for when it would eventually arrive.
Have you had this experience? Or maybe you're having this experience now? What's it like for you as you navigate this experience?
These doubts and fears weren't new, they had been in the background of my heart for a long time but I was starting to change my relationship to them. What I know about doubt and fear is that they are not signs that you are not ready for something, they are actually signs that you're on the threshold of change.
When you're about to commit to what you truly want, it's extremely normal for your nervous system to start resisting because there is an intelligence at play. It knows that everything will shift once you do. And that is really really real. Change is disruptive.
So I knew that I was going to need support in navigating my fear and discomfort in order to learn how to walk with everything that was coming up for me. One way I was inspired to do this was to get super real with the people in my life and because I was freshly back from living abroad, the perfect conditions arose.
In the form of "The Catch Up". The conversation you have when you haven't seen love ones in a long time and you're inside of a new transition / season of life. I took this opportunity to be really honest and have for me, what felt like a really real conversation.
Inside the place where I shared the latest news, I had left Paris, I was taking a sabbatical from my work and deeply rethinking things, the biggest news was, I was also going to date for marriage and family building.
Even saying those words out loud, "I'm dating for marriage and to build a family" took incredible courage. That was me walking through my fear and doubt in real time. I think it said them dozens and dozens of times last year. Every time I said, it brought me close to the reality I'm living today.
And the response from my loved ones? Varied, refreshing and surprisingly. Because beyond the shock of some people, the subtle judgements in place but overall the admiration of others lay another opportunity. To ask them about their experience.
For my cousins, aunties, uncles, elders, friends, who had already walked through the doors of long-term partnership, marriage and children, I asked them, "What were you thinking about right before you made that commitment? What did your life look like? What were your doubts and fears? What supported you in making that choice? What would you like me to know as I embark on this journey for myself?"
And you know what, the answers floored me. As people opened up and shared so many things about their past that I had never known before, there were many many themes of fear and doubt. But every single one also contained the courage of, I still went for it. I made the commitment. I jumped in. There were doubts, in every single story, am I making the right choice, will this work out etc alongside the courage of, I took the risk, I kept moving forward, I learned to trust myself along the way.
I cannot tell you helpful this was for me to hear. I heard of childhood sweethearts rekindling, soul-mates found and lost at the early passing of the other, peace at the second chance being available but the acceptance that it will never quite be the first. There were stories of the hardship of the early years of commitment and everything that they had to build together to get where they are today. There were also questions they wished they'd ask themselves if they were to go back and do it all over again.
There were also stories of regret of not committing sooner and simply of not committing at all. There were stories of spending too long healing from a painful break up and never giving themselves the chance to have a family. There were stories of I was too attached to the perfect person and I didn't understand what marriage really meant, I over thought it.
All of these said, I let fear and doubt get the better of me. I wished I reached out for help sooner. I wish I had hired help or had the trusted guidance of eldership through this transition. I wished I hadn't waited until the perfect person or perfect conditions.
You see what I continue to learn and see to be true is that the work of a trusted coach and guide is not to remove doubt from your journey. It will be there. It's to learn how to walk forward with doubt.
When you're standing a threshold, you don't need to wait until fear goes away. What you need is a steady container that supports you to walk WITH the doubt, stay accountable to what you say you want, and actually build the foundations for the life you are longing for.
When I designed my 1:1 Comeback Journey, this is exactly what I made it for.
Over 8 weeks, we begin with a Soul Retreat Deep Dive... a 3-hour immersive session to name and release the old patterns, clarify your vision for home, love, and family, and anchor it in your body so it feels real and possible. From there, we move into six integration sessions where you learn to hold yourself to a higher standard, strengthen your self-belief, and stay in action even when fear or doubt shows up.
I want to really emphasise that this is NOT about fixing you. You do not need to be fixed. What you need is to build the clarity, structure and support so you can keep walking forward toward your vision so it becomes your actual lived reality. It takes work and commitment and the right support. The right coach, guide and container can truly change everything.
If you’ve been circling your desire and know you’re ready to commit to the next chapter even if doubt about your worth is whispering in your ear then this container might be for you.
If you're ready to take a next step to talk about your journey in the 1:1 Comeback Journey, you can book your Complimentary Discovery Call with me below.
If you’re feeling really hungry to learn more and you’d like to experience one of my classes first, next week I’m offering my Unshakeable Self-Trust Masterclass where you can come and join for free.
📅 Thursday 25th September at 6.30pm BST / 1.30pm EST / 10.30am PST
💻 Online via Zoom
⏰ 90 minutes live (with replay if you can’t make it live)
This is a really powerful class for any woman navigating the threshold of change in your life. Come and join us below. Replay available.
Thank you for being here, listening, reading and watching my loves.
I’ll see you so soon,
Liv
